Apparently the hippies that run Hollywood haven’t come grips with the real and present danger that Chimpanzees pose to the human race. Chimps may look cute but they harbor a deep seated resentment towards humans and our fully developed brains. The Chimpanzee brain is only developed enough to express one emotion: Jealousy. For this reason, I can’t over-state how important it is that you sit your adorable little children down before they see this movie and you explain to them that CHIMPS ARE VICIOUS FACE EATING MONSTERS.
I wrote that in capital letters because I wanted to stress how much Chimpanzees are vicious, face-eating, monsters that stalk the Earth. I really can’t stress that enough. If you don’t believe me look at this:
or even this:
Now try watching this disgusting piece of pro-ape propaganda without shriveling up into the fetal position while you cry hysterically and ruin the movie for everyone. I don’t know about you but I hope Oscar the ape dies a horrible lonely death in a forest somewhere far away from our precious children. I’m already having enough trouble sleeping at night knowing that we live in world filled with germs, terrorism, and tidal waves. Now I have to worry about Ape attacks too? Sorry Disney, but I’m already too scared to let that happen.